i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
