Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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