I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
