3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize