Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
