Porn is love you can see.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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