You really coming over, don't trick.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
