turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
