Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Nicole vs. Life
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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