They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
