You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
