the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
