So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
