I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
