We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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