I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
