yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
