Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
