Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i think my cat just said my name.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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