If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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