my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
