had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
