and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize