I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
