My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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