Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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