Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
