normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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