It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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