You smell like a Billy Joel song
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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