I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I wear drunk well.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize