We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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