I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
