But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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