oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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