Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
