Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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