Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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