I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
