I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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