He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize