Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
