i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
