I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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