You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we're so committed to being not committed
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
