Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
