I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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