how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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