I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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