Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
wow bdsm is so cute
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
