Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
