I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
