Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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