If i come over, it means nothing
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
